"A True and Godly Woman" - From "Maidens of Worth"

Anna Naomi Lofgren of Maidens of Worth wrote this beautiful poem:

A True and Godly Woman
Today the roles of men and ladies
Are often blurred or shared
Leaving one to wonder,
"So, what has God prepared?"

Some people would try to tell us
That we're the same in every way
That girls should strive for equal rights
And not be stuck inside all day!

But I want to be a lady,
Following after God.
Striving to do what pleases Him
Though it might look rather odd!

I want to have noble character
Like the women in God's word
Worth far more than rubies,
And living by trusting in the Lord

I want to learn to bring my future husband
Good, but never ill
Honoring him in all I do,
Learning to submit my will.

I strive to teach my hands eagerness
In all the daily tasks
Working hard from dawn 'til dusk
To make a home where nothing ever lacks.

Learning to sew and cook and clean,
To make a home lovely.
Learning to be an excellent wife and mother,
So that everyone shall see

A woman delighting in the gift
Of graceful femininity,
Clothed with strength and wisdom,
And possessing dignity.

Dressing with grace and honor,
Radiating modesty,
Letting there be no doubt that I
Am a girl of propriety.

Knowing and showing that
True beauty comes from within.
Not caught up in my outward appearance,
But praising God with all I am.

Learning to develop a spirit
That is quiet, gentle, and kind.
Shunning gossip and idle chatter,
But speaking with wisdom in mind.

Glorifying God with every
Word, thought, and deed.
Living as God would have me live,
Helping everyone in need.

And as I live each day,
I hope that it'll show,
That I am a true and Godly woman,
Delighting that it's so!

What Is "He" Looking For? - Part 3

Introduction * Part 1 * Part 2 * Part 3 * Part 4 * Part 5 * Part 6 * Part 7 * Part 8 * Part 9 * Conclusion

3. "[Another] thing to look for in a prospective wife is cheerfulness.... Everyone has trials and adversities. The happy, cheerful girl has learned to deal with them and still enjoy life."

Cheerfulness might be defined as the outward manifestation of a contented heart. On the other hand, a lack of cheerfulness is often the result of discontentment. True cheerfulness is not contingent upon surrounding circumstances, but is the resulting attitude in a woman who has learned to be content "in whatsoever state" she finds herself. She is uplifting to her husband, and cheerfully fulfills her God-given role as his helpmeet.

We are all familiar with Paul's amazing statement in Philippians 4:11: "for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content." Paul went through many, many "whatsoever states" in his lifetime: shipwrecks, imprisonment, verbal abuse, persecution for the cause of Christ.

My family has a dear friend whose circumstances are less than ideal. She lives alone, far from family, and has many health problems. Although she is in pain frequently, everyone she meets is always greeted with a cheerful smile and an encouraging word. She has determined to have a good attitude no matter what her circumstances are. What an encouragement and inspiration to all of us!

Vibrant cheerfulness is infectious! There are some people around whom it is almost impossible to be sad or cast down. What man would not want a wife who is positive and uplifting, who always greets him with a cheerful countenance? Imagine the value of being able to come home after a long day's work with the confidence that one will be met with a bright smile and a cheerful, uplifting attitude!

Mr. Pearl contrasts his picture of a cheerful woman with one of a discontented woman. He writes, "No man can make a discontented woman happy." Discontentedness comes from the heart, and is not remedied by outward circumstances.

A woman who says, "I have had my way in this area. Now I am truly contented" is not really contented. Instead, she is merely temporarily satisfied. The next time she cannot buy that item she wants, or her husband does not act in a way that meets with her approval, her discontented spirit will show itself again.

How does one develop a spirit of cheerfulness? Mr. Pearl outlines this briefly: "Everyone has trials and adversities. The happy, cheerful girl has learned to deal with them and still enjoy life [Emphasis added]." Paul, too, does not merely say that he is content in whatsoever state he finds himself. He says that he has learned to be content in whatsoever state he is in. Literally, in this context, learned means "to learn by use and practice" or "to be in the habit of, accustomed to." A spirit of cheerfulness is something that we should be cultivating daily.

Cheerfulness is an attitude of the heart, and must be dealt with at the heart level. One who is always brooding, thinking of things that did not go her way, will find it impossible to become the possessor of a cheerful heart. She is on a road heading to discontentment and misery. One who makes it her practice to think on "whatever is true, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good report (Philippians 4:8)" will find that her whole attitude and demeanor will undergo a dramatic change. A girl who looks for ways to serve, instead of thinking of all the ways others should be serving her, will learn to be content in all of the "whatsoever states" she finds herself.

Proverbs 15:13 - A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.

Proverbs 17:22 - A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.

Introduction * Part 1 * Part 2 * Part 3 * Part 4 * Part 5 * Part 6 * Part 7 * Part 8 * Part 9 * Conclusion

"The Age of Obedient Parents"

People ask me how it happens that my children are all so promptly obedient and so happy. As if it chanced that some parents have such children, or chanced that some have not! I am afraid it is only too true, as some one has remarked, that "this is the age of obedient parents!" What then will be the future of their children? How can they yield to God who have never been taught to yield to human authority? And how well fitted will they be to rule their own households who have never learned to rule themselves?

-Stepping Heavenward, by Elizabeth Prentiss; page 352

"Stepping Heavenward," by Elizabeth Prentiss

Stepping Heavenward, by Elizabeth Prentiss

Written in the form of a personal journal, this is truly a unique work of fiction. Although the story takes place in the 1800's, the main character, Katherine Mortimer, faces many of the same issues that young ladies face today: honoring her parents, loving God, controlling a quick temper, keeping her emotions in check, honoring her husband, loving her children, applying God's Word to every area of life, trusting God through difficulties, and surrendering to God's will. Kate's "journal" chronicles her struggles, triumphs, discoveries, losses, and joys, from her sixteenth birthday through her forty-third year. When I finished the last page of this book, I felt almost as if I had lost my best friend. I say almost, because the lessons learned from this friend are valuable, inspiring, personal, and - I hope - lasting.

"According to Elisabeth Elliot, Kay Arthur, and Joni Eareckson Tada, Stepping Heavenward will encourage, inspire, and challenge your walk with Jesus Christ in a dimension that few have entered" (from the Testimony, by editor Mark Hamby, at the beginning of the book).

A Wish, A Prayer

I want to see little children adorning every home, as flowers adorn every meadow and every wayside. I want to see them welcomed to the homes they enter, to see their parents grow less and less selfish, and more and more loving, because they have come. I want to see God's precious gifts accepted, not frowned upon and refused.

- Stepping Heavenward, by Elizabeth Prentiss; pg. 344

The Stakes Are High!

Surely too much is involved, too great a responsibility, too many and too precious interests, to venture upon wedded life without Christ. The lessons are too hard to learn to be attempted without a divine Teacher. The burdens are too heavy to be borne without a mighty Helper. The perils of the way are too many to be passed through without an unerring Guide. The duties are too delicate, and the consequences of failure in them too far-reading and too terrible, to be taken up without wisdom and help from above.

- Home-Making, by J.R. Miller; page 29

What Is "He" Looking For? - Part 2

Introduction * Part 1 * Part 2 * Part 3 * Part 4 * Part 5 * Part 6 * Part 7 * Part 8 * Part 9 * Conclusion

2. "She will need to know how to pray."

Communication with God is an important part of the Christian life. In Scripture, we are commanded to "pray without ceasing" (1 Thessalonians 5:17). Since I have not learned New Testament Greek, I don't know exactly what it means by "without ceasing," but I do know that I fall miserably short of even the most liberal translation of this text!

I don't think that Paul is saying we can never do anything besides pray, but rather that we should have a spirit of prayer throughout our whole day. On a beautiful morning, we can thank God for the blessing of nature. While we are working in the kitchen, we can thank God for giving us an able body and good health. When we think of a friend who is going through a difficult time, we can breath a prayer that God would give her strength. While we are going about our daily work, we can praise the Lord for His provision and sufficiency. As we look around at our families, we can offer a prayer of thanksgiving to the Lord for His blessing of children, parents, and husband. During hard times, we can continually offer up prayers for guidance and strength. When our attitude is not as it should be, we have the privilege of coming to God and begging forgiveness, asking for help to overcome our struggle.

Communication with God is also an important key to sanctification. One of the reasons we are told to pray is that we "enter not into temptation" (Luke 22:40). Whether we have problems with our tempers, our tongues, our thoughts, or a lack of reverence and respect toward our husbands or parents, we have the power of God through prayer to keep us from giving in to those temptations.

Sometimes the Lord chooses to close a woman's womb, as He did with Hannah (1 Samuel 1:5). She prayed diligently that the Lord would grant her a child, pouring her heart out to the Giver of Life. The Lord granted her humble request and gave her a son, Samuel. Instead of becoming frustrated when things happen that are outside of our control, we can go to the Lord in prayer, freely making known our requests. What peace comes from this communion with our Lord!

It is not a wife's duty to change her husband. In Created to Be His Help Meet, by Debi Pearl, the question is asked: "[H]ow should we wives respond to make our own lives better and to provide a window of opportunity for our husbands to respond to God and improve?" In answer, Debi Pearl replies, "[A]bove all else, you cannot become his conscience or his accuser, expecting that pressure is going to push him into repentance."

My mother has informed me that many times a wife's only - but nonetheless effective - recourse is prayer. Created to Be His Help Meet is full of letters from wives who stepped back and stopped pressuring their husbands. Instead, they prayed and let the Holy Spirit convict. One such letter, from "Jill," speaks of the power of prayer: "When things go hard, I praise God and give the circumstance to him.... [M]y house is changing from week to week. I can see the work going on before my eyes, and I stand amazed."

Introduction * Part 1 * Part 2 * Part 3 * Part 4 * Part 5 * Part 6 * Part 7 * Part 8 * Part 9 * Conclusion

What Is "He" Looking For? - Part 1

Introduction * Part 1 * Part 2 * Part 3 * Part 4 * Part 5 * Part 6 * Part 7 * Part 8 * Part 9 * Conclusion

1. "The first qualification is that she love the Lord and be His disciple."

If a woman does not understand the relationship between Christ and His church, how can she have a proper understanding of the relationship between a man and his wife? Ephesians 5 draws a clear parallel between the headship of Christ over the church and the headship of a husband over his wife.

"For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.... For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church" (Ephesians 5:23-24, 31-32).

Marriage is a wonderful picture of Christ and His bride, the Church.

Here on earth, however, both the husband and the wife are sinners; they are going to fail. Without God's Word to guide and the Holy Spirit to convict, a marriage can fall apart before the honeymoon is over. A young woman must be a sincere disciple of Jesus Christ, seeking His ways as revealed in His Word, before she is ready to fulfill the great role of a godly wife.

Yet it is not enough merely to conform on the outside. A girl who has all the outer show of a godly wife, yet does not have a love for Christ, is leading a futile life. Colossians emphasizes that all we do must be done to the glory of God.

"And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men: Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ" (Colossians 3:23-24).

When others are not around to watch, what are we living for? During our years at home, are we obeying our parents because it makes life easier for us, or because we possess a deep love for Christ and His ways? If all of our actions are driven by a love of Christ, our obedience to His Word will not depend upon outward circumstances. However, if we lack love for Christ, all that we do is motivated by a desire for selfish gain or for the approval and good opinion of others.

Conversely, a woman who professes faith in Christ, yet whose actions do not reflect this, has a "dead faith." "Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone. Yea, a man may say, Thou has faith, and I have works: shew me thy faith without thy works, and I will shew thee my faith by my works" (James 2:18).

This passage goes on to say, "Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble. But wilt thou know, O vain man, that faith without works is dead? ... For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also" (James 2:19-20, 26). The outward evidence that a woman is a disciple of Christ - one who has faith in Him - is a desire to do all to the glory of God, in accordance with His Word. Her actions reveal where her allegiance lies.

Introduction * Part 1 * Part 2 * Part 3 * Part 4 * Part 5 * Part 6 * Part 7 * Part 8 * Part 9 * Conclusion

What Is 'He' Looking For? - Introduction

Introduction * Part 1 * Part 2 * Part 3 * Part 4 * Part 5 * Part 6 * Part 7 * Part 8 * Part 9 * Conclusion

Sometimes we look around us and wonder, "Where in the world is the Lord going to find a godly, upright young man to marry me someday?"

At these times, we need to stop and remember that responsibilities are ours; results are God's. God gives us our responsibilities in His Word, and promises to be faithful to those who follow Him (Deuteronomy 7:9, Psalm 127:1, Daniel 9:4).

Our responsibility during the unmarried, formative years of our lives is to diligently seek to become - with God's help - godly, virtuous young women. How can we ask the Lord to give us godly men if we are not ourselves godly women?

Simply and personally put, if my desire is to marry a man of God, I must seek to become a woman of God.

Most of us know what we want in a husband. But have you ever wondered what "he" is looking for in a wife?

I am currently reading through the book To Train up a Child, by Michael & Debi Pearl. Near the end of the book, Mr. Pearl includes a letter written to his sons. In this letter full of direction and sage advice, he offers guidance to his sons for one day choosing godly women to be their wives and the mothers of their children.

While taking notes on this chapter and mentally analyzing it, I wrote down nine main points that I would like to share with you. Mr. Pearl considers each of these points to be characteristic of any woman of God.

The purpose of these posts is not to instruct young men on what to look for in a prospective wife; rather, I am praying that the Lord would use this to inspire the young ladies around me (and in the vast blogosphere) to seek to become virtuous women of God. This letter sets forth what we should be working towards and provides valuable direction and insights for all future (and current) wives and mothers.

Proverbs 18:24 says, "He that hath friends must show himself friendly...." I think that this concept can be applied to us in a unique way: "She who desires a godly husband must show herself to be a godly woman."

Over the next few weeks, with each point, let us have an open heart as we look at what "he" - the godly young man - is looking for, in light of God's Word.

Introduction * Part 1 * Part 2 * Part 3 * Part 4 * Part 5 * Part 6 * Part 7 * Part 8 * Part 9 * Conclusion

A Fantastic Article on Feminine Modesty

Twins Alex and Brett Harris, of TheRebelution, recently conducted a "Modesty Survey." While I don't necessarily agree with or approve of every aspect of it, I appreciate the motivation behind it.

Part of the survey allowed those taking it to submit written answers or comments. One young man, Shannon Moeller, wrote a fantastic article comparing modesty to safety on roofs, or "parapets." I know it sounds rather bizarre, but click over to read this very insightful, practical, article entitled The Responsibility of Modesty (Part Two). I promise it will be worth the short three minutes it takes to read.